They have.
I’m pretty sure.
Although they probably had more of a sure thing in the actual transaction of the ‘sale,’ but whatever.
So the deal is this: there’s a site that is offering an ‘up to a’ $4000 prize for the best (which is subjective to say the least, I know) post on “Driving Traffic to Your Blog.”
I mean, right there you have a problem: who the hell goes to blogs to read about driving traffic to your blog? I’m sure they’re out there, but that sounds like some boring-ass reading to me. Plus, this is coming from the lady who until a few weeks ago thought “SEO” was some kind of shorthand for Senior Executive Officer. I don’t know a goddamned thing about driving traffic to your blog, but clearly that doesn’t matter: you’re here, aren’t you?
Someone once wrote me that I have ‘mastered the art of bizarre Google search terms.’ They searched “starship interiors” and wound up here. Other known searches include “What is the meaning of life?” (twice) and “writer’s traveling desk” (or something like that.) Anyway, without any personal experience in the matter, I am still of the opinion that the key to web greatness is already being famous for absolutely nothing. In fact, that’s going to be my first piece of advice.
1. Get a reality show (and/or be born an heiress: your choice) and arrive at instant fame. While enjoying said undeserved fame, announce the name of your blog extensively while appearing on said reality show or while falling out of cars drunk without any underwear on or whatever your niche happens to be. There’s no such thing as bad publicity. Just remember to also mention your blog.
I want to be like this guy (lady?) with money to burn and enough food to get fat as a house.
Obviously, my effort (which I do plan to pen and post in the next few days) will be – AT BEST – borderline serious. And probably not helpful. And likely too snarky and absurd to actually win. Nonetheless, some other part of me can’t help theorizing: “Why not? Maybe every damn thing that has to be said has already been said and thus a ridiculous entry meant to amuse will be -by default – the best?”
Granted, this is super-delusional thinking, but I’ve got the time for such futile mental pursuits, and I’m willing to utilize it.
Anyway, I just wanted to warn you because I am feeling a bit like a chump for even considering this. On the other hand, if you wanted to send me $4000 in an effort to save my dignity, I’m open to this. In fact, I offer a vary generous trade: name the blog topic you want written and posted, and I can (probably) make it happen. Truly an offer you can’t refuse.
Plugging myself in the most invisible of ways.
